The "Adulting" Handbook

My day-to-day existence has crackled with nervous energy for as long as I can remember. Anxiety shapes how I think, feel, and relate to others — and how I see myself. A formal diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) a few years ago only…

When I moved the last box into the Casa de Joy — my affectionate nickname for my new apartment in Brooklyn — my first priority was acquiring a set of houseplants. After years of surviving and navigating homelessness in shelters and other people’s…

I know that taking work breaks can have cognitive and mental health benefits. But as much as I want to squeeze in a stroll or yoga sequence during my workday, I just can’t pry myself from my laptop. I’m reluctant to interrupt my flow, or feel like I…

Everyone wants to have happy healthy relationships. We want them so badly, in fact, that many of us become obsessed with how to do them “right.” In recent years, attachment theory has become a useful framework for many of us to understand how the…

Men’s fashion at its most buttoned up really does it for me. Period drama, particularly: both the early 1950s-60s suiting of Mad Men or the Regency-era gentleman in ornate jackets and breeches in Bridgerton have this effect on me. It may be the…

We don’t know exactly why Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting divorced. (It’s definitely not because Ye cheated with Jeffree Star, as was recently rumored on the internet.) What we do know is that Kardashian has retained the services of…

Many of us are anxious to make change in our lives and in the world, what with far right fools looting democracy and the global pandemic and all. Except that we’re still stuck at home, with precious few opportunities for face time with like minded…

Everyone wants to have happy healthy relationships. We want them so badly, in fact, that many of us become obsessed with how to do them “right.” In recent years, attachment theory has become a useful framework for many of us to understand how the…

Men’s fashion at its most buttoned up really does it for me. Period drama, particularly: both the early 1950s-60s suiting of Mad Men or the Regency-era gentleman in ornate jackets and breeches in Bridgerton have this effect on me. It may be the…

We don’t know exactly why Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting divorced. (It’s definitely not because Ye cheated with Jeffree Star, as was recently rumored on the internet.) What we do know is that Kardashian has retained the services of…

Most people would agree that even for the most well adjusted among us, dating is confusing — even more so for those dealing with trauma. Over the past decade or so, talking about trauma has become less stigmatized and there are more counseling and…

I believe it was Colin Powell who said, “Trust is the glue that holds people together, and is the lubricant that keeps an organization moving forward.” I’m certain he was not talking about the gooey stuff you get in the unmentionables aisle in your…

Breakups are the worst. As if the emotional turmoil isn’t bad enough, there’s the logistical headache of figuring out how to handle the money part of the breakup. Six years into my last relationship, my live-in boyfriend at the time had quit his job…

The gig economy is poppin’. There are close to 57 million freelancers working in the US, and research suggests that number is expected to rise by 14% by 2027. There’s a lot of moaning and groaning about the instability of the hustle economy, but the…

Weddings and official announcements may not be for everyone, but the money-related perks of marriage — from joint income taxes to health insurance coverage — can often be what pushes some couples toward an official union. What many people don't…

Traveling in groups looks easy from the outside — everyone’s either laughing by the beach or tucking into Instagram-worthy brunches. But behind those smiles were some potentially very uncomfortable conversations about money — ones that you, too,…

Mic’s Payoff podcast is back — with an extra-special episode and it’s a doozy! Comedian and actor Gary Richardson reached out with a money SOS, and Chris and Antonia answered the call. Richardson’s financial life had gotten pretty scary,…

Talking about money or financial topics can be a conversational minefield. Even asking someone what they do for a living, if done the wrong way, may come across as crass or opportunistic. But the motherlode of awkward money questions? Try: "Are you…